Unconventional Methodology
by gibbousmoons
Summary: A series of events Aku won't ever talk about has left him in Halkegania. Though greatly diminished, don't mistake a sense of style and timing for a lack off ill will on his part- or his daughters'. Not just another alternate familiar fic. Don't expect things not to change.
1. Chapter 1

"Father! Father!" A short girl with long red hair burst out of the cupboard in front of her father's father's face. The locket he'd dropped to grab hold of her snapped open as it fell to the floor.

"Slow down there, little girl." He chuckled a deep, resonating, bass laugh as he whirled his little girl around him, sending her flying into her pink haired sibling, who had been hiding under a laundry hamper. "You'll hurt yourselves if you leap from heights like that. People aren't meant to jump around like stupid monkeys!"

"But you said you'd tell us a _story_." The redhead, Eleanore, crossed her arms and straightened her glasses dramatically.

"And you tell the best stories." Cattleya, her shorter pink hair pulled back in a braid, joined in the chorus. "_Please?_"

Their father shook his head from side to side, trimmed crimson beard and mustache waggling in counterpoint. He slid the burlap sack off his shoulder and set it down gently, bending over it as he spoke. "All right, just let me take your sister out of the kidnapping sack, and then I'll open the port-"

The door to the laundry room opened with a crisp click.

The neatly bearded man stopped moving, even his gently billowing green coat hung motionless- mid flutter.

A cold voice came from the doorway. "Husband."

"My darling."

"Someone has broken into our youngest's nursery, knocked her guards unconscious, and stuffed her in a sack. A maid reported the kidnapper was wearing a long green coat, red pants, and black shirt."

Her husband's hair burst from its ponytail with an audible '_twaaang_', snapping into unruly curls that fell around his head like flames, and his eyebrows twitched nervously.

"We talked about this sort of thing, husband." Her tone softened slightly as she said, "I hope you're not falling back on old habits." The wand in her hand was a blatant threat.

He was totally silent, his eyes flitting across the ground, searching in vain for something to distract the source of imminent doom he'd married. Damn his habit of fixating on those who thwarted him, and twice damn that damned Queen and her marriage fixation!

"I'll expect you all back by dinner." The door clicked closed. The threat was past. The Great Evil heaved a loud sigh of relief, and his children flipped the hamper back over, revealing they'd hidden the sack containing their sister under it.

"Are you sure you have to do this?" Cattleya asked, giving the wriggling sack a mournful look.

Her father gave her a quizzical look, joined by her older sister. "Well how else was I supposed to arrange for my daughter to learn magic?"

The girl who would later come to be known as the gentle la Valliere dropped the subject. Her dad was _weird_.

"So when can we-"

The children's father snapped his fingers, and a shimmering blue portal rose out of the floor behind him. He picked up the sack and turned. "You can have a story as soon as we get through the portal and untie your sister. How about the one where I meet your mother?"

The portal closed as Cattleya stepped through it and into a barren rusted wasteland, with heavy clouds overhead. The desolation was broken by a picturesque cabin, complete with smoke rising from the chimney, directly in front of them.

They entered through the front door, and Eleanore let her sister out of the sack. Louise, barely seven years old, fixed her father with a stern look, trying (and failing) to imitate her mother. Nevertheless, she joined her sisters on the lounging couch, wrapping her arms around her kind and caring sister. Cattleya returned the gesture.

Their father sat down in the overstuffed chair in front of the fireplace and steepled his fingers in front of his face. "Listen close, dear children. Once upon a time there was a young woman, with long pink hair and a will as sharp as her sword…"

XIXI

"Once upon a time there was a young woman, with long pink hair and a will as sharp as her sword, and she was very, very just and fair and loyal. She was guarding her princess one day while they adventured through the countryside. The princess had grown bored to the city, you see, and wanted to go on a grand adventure like in the stories she'd grown up with.

From what I've heard they slew a _great and ancient_ dragon and looted its lair, depriving a mountain of its customary megafauna and starting a vicious turf war between dragons with territory nearby. Then they happened across a band of pirates that had anchored in the woods for repairs, and sliced them into neatly diced meaty chunks for _daring_ to impinge on the monarch's property.

Together the duo had many great and wonderful yadda yadda yadda, blah blah boring things happened and your mother killed a lot of people. Then we met each other and we married four years later. The end."

Louise frowned. "But you didn't say-"

"Magic teaching time!" Aku clapped his hands together and the house vanished around them, causing the trio of children to stumble to their feet after the drop. "First, tiny children," He loomed overhead, his coat elongating and his hair lighting on fire as he blotted out what little light penetrated the massive dust clouds overhead, "The great Aku will show his progeny the fine and delicate art of emitting and sustaining a stable beam from a simple air-to-heat reaction from the optic nerves."

Eleanore's hair stopped waving excitedly, and she scratched her head. Cattelya blinked. Louise was seven. She said, "Huh?"

Aku sighed. Why did children, even those as great and terrible as his own, have to be so stupid? "I'm going to teach you how to shoot fire out of your eyes."

"And this morning, when you said your…" Cattleya asked, obviously it was clarification time, " 'vast and ineffingbell comic power was stolen by a water spirit of normally inefficient pussience', you meant?"

Aku propped his head on his hands, and his fire dimmed. "I lost most of my magic, and it's being guarded by spirits that I could easily defeat, if I had most of my magic. Are there any more questions?" He sighed.

"Why'd you put me in the sack?"

The next phrase would have repercussions that would echo across the world, forever changing the course of events. "Because _how_ you do something is just as important as _why_ you do it. It's all about style, gloating when you've won, and giving the other person the illusion that they can triumph over your ineffable plans."

In the short term, all it did was confuse two of his three listeners. Eleanore's eyes lit up with sudden understanding.

"What's 'ineffable' mean?" Cattleya asked.

Louise was still seven.

XIXI

_Some time later…_

"They say her father's some barbarian foreigner from beyond the elvish lands, and her mother married him so the Queen would gain access to his arcane sorcery." A voice whispered in the well lit corridor behind Louise de la Valliere.

She didn't know who it was gossiping about her, but it would be beneath her station to turn around and find out. She was above that kind of thing. Her hair twitched slightly, and her black cloak billowed perhaps a tad more than was absolutely necessary as she continued on her way.

"Well I heard her parents aren't even properly married because the deacon bursts into flames whenever he gets near him."

"That can't be true, because my older brother saw the Duke of la Valliere talking with Pope Serevare when he was on tour-"

"What were they talking about?"

"I don't know, he was guarding the gates when the Pope came to meet Cardinal Mazarin. The Duke just showed up out of nowhere and started talking to him about Windstones, of all things. I think the man's just crazy. All the [i]really[/i] powerful mages are, you know."

Louise turned into the hall where Professor Colbert was waiting, and stood slightly apart from the rest of the early students. She'd forgotten something, she knew, but for the life of her she couldn't remember what it was.

"So today you will all be taking an important step forward in your schooling here at the Tristain Academy of Magic, summoning your first familiars." Colbert smiled out at the class as he wound up his speech. "We'd be outside for this normally, but it's raining. I'm sure that, no matter what you summon though, the lecture hall will be large enough to handle it."

Ah. That. This could be a problem. The pinkette reflexively pulled her hair back down as it sprang up, the very picture of noble calm. The smoldering heat on her hand as she tamped her carefully ordered curls back down was the only clue to her agitation. There was no possible way that anyone in the room could possibly have noticed her slip.

"Messed up again." A soft voice whispered from behind her, and Louise eeped in surprise.

Louise snapped back, "No I didn't."

Tabitha took a seat next to her friend and closed her book, listening to Professor Colbert speak about the history of the Springtime Summoning Ritual, the cultural significance it had, and how familiars could be indicative of a mage's talent and personality, but _not_ of their personal power. "Hair was on fire."

"No it wasn't." Louise quietly fumed, earlier trepidation forgotten as she fell back on routine. Why was she friends with the Gallian again?

The blue haired girl shrugged her shoulders and let the subject drop. That was the main reason they were friends. They both knew the other person had secrets, and neither particularly cared about the other's. She pulled out a small round object wrapped in white cloth, carefully uncovered a small section, and took a bite.

Another familiar person sat down to Tabitha's left. Tanned skin, hair almost as red as Eleanore's, freakishly large breasts, it could only be Kirche. "Are you eating again, Louise? I swear, sometimes I think you ought to be 'Louise the Bottomless Pit', not 'Louise the Hot Wind'."

She was smiling. Louise just knew the Germanian was smiling when she said it. Somehow that took the sting out of the teasing words. Well, it took most of the sting out, she couldn't let such an insult go without response! "I'm a growing girl, Kirche. At least my name relates to my magic, not my chambers."

"I don't know what you're talking about." The redhead responded to the teasing in kind. "There's plenty of magic in my chambers. I seem to recall rumors that you have a fiance in the wings yourself, so I'm sure you'll find out about the wonders of womanhood sooner or-"

"Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst." Colbert called out, and Louise watched her other friend walk to the circle drawn at the front of the room. She still wasn't sure how she got along with the Germanian girl.

Things would have been different, Louise mused, if she didn't have her magic. Why was she thinking about a topic like this now? She definitely wasn't nervous or anything, but she shuddered to think of what it would have been like, growing up a noble in name only, living with the deep fear of being 'disposed of' by one of her parents' many enemies because she couldn't defend herself, dealing with the crippling insecurity brought on by _not being able to do magic_. What kind of terrible person would she have become?

She was a triangle mage, fire-fire-air, and it wasn't like she was insecure about her magical ability, even if most of her spells had unintended consequences and always-

A Salamander! That big breasted bimbo summoned a gigantic fire-breathing Salamander for her familiar! And there it was, nuzzling her chest like that third year boy she'd seen… Louise stopped that line of thought right there, and ran her fingers through her hair again. She'd be fine, nobody would think ill of her if she didn't summon a magical creature as well. All right, her spellwork wasn't the best, despite her colossal stores of willpower, but that didn't mean-

Dragon. When had Tabitha gotten to the front of the class? When had she summoned a dragon? Why was the blue dragon licking her hair? Why was everyone staring at her like she'd missed something?

"Ms. la Valliere, it's time for you to summon your familiar." Professor Colbert tried to hide his amusement, but Louise could see has mouth twitch into a smile, and tittering laughter came from all sides as steam rose from her suddenly dampened, yet still nearly flaming, hair.

Louise kept her mouth shut in a determined line, and most certainly did not break into a dramatic monologue about how soon, they would (nearly) _all_ pay.

XIXI

Louise straightened her cuffs as she walked down the aisle to the front of the class, quietly making sure she was perfectly presentable. If she were better at shapeshifting, she groused to herself, she wouldn't have to take such care with her clothes. She'd never understood just how messy things could get until she had to learn what a _whole new selection of outfits_ was supposed to look like.

Her cape uncreased itself, and her hand reached back reflexively, gathering the heat building in her hair and sweeping it away. She took a deep breath and stepped up to the stone square that one of the other students had transmuted before class. She remembered her father's words, the way he moved like he was the center of the world, and how certain he was that even his whims could alter the bedrock of the earth.

_There was no doubt in her mind._ She was only putting on a show for the bit players, after all. Only a few of the bodies in the room were actually people. A warm breeze stirred the chalk on the floor and pulled the dust into the air, then set it back down in subtly different configuration. Louise sniffed and muttered, barely loud enough to be heard through the room. "Yes."

She remembered the way her mother's mouth creased slightly when she made her displeasure known. The terrible wrath she'd seen called down on an assassin once, made all the more frightening by the utter and complete calm in her eyes.

_They didn't matter._ Except for a few precious, wonderful people, there were only cretins, filth, and dogs. Some of them were pretty, and some had power, but all but a handful in the room were only fit to watch her in awe. Tabitha hadn't taken out her book again, and Kirche was leaning forward in anticipation. Professor Osmond's eyes were twinkling madly, enjoying a private joke.

Flair and restraint, the marriage of her parents' philosophies. Her father would turn the earth beneath his feet to sun-baked sand to warm his toes, and obliterate the wills of all who so dared to oppose him outright at the slightest provocation, but her mother was cold. She'd take the straightest path through any difficulty, be it troublesome courtiers or arrogant elves. Any tactic, no matter how terrible, was justified in service to the rightful crown.

Louise was the child of unbridled obsession and passion, and the daughter of quiet duty and grace. She spoke, louder than before, and the whole room could clearly hear her words. "My name is Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière."

The light dimmed a fraction as the lamps were damped by an unseen force, but the pink haired girl was still as visible as ever. "Pentagon of the five elements, heed me."

The chalk lines on the floor flashed green, and Colbert was the only one who could see his student's face cast into sinister shadows by the light beneath her. "Bring me my familiar."

There was a greater flash of green as a portal opened and closed in front of Louise, but she immediately went to her knees and gathered her familiar up in her arms. Coincidentally, this also hid what she summoned from view. "Powers, grant your blessing upon my familiar."

The girl, barely five feet tall, stood up and turned to face her friends, a bird on her shoulder. It was a raven, jet black from its wingtips to its beak.

At the back of the class, Tabitha opened her book back up and resumed reading, but not before her comment echoed across the silent room. "Not ominous at all." Her familiar nodded confirmation a second later, and Kirche burst out laughing at her friend's comment.

Louise lost control at the sight of her audience's apprehensive faces, and joined in.

She later denied any allegations by a certain rude, over-endowed, flirty redhead that she'd _cackled. _

XIXI

In a towering castle, far from what Louise and the majority of her classmates would consider the 'civilized' world, a man sat on a simple throne. He holds a blade in his hand, its single edge gleaming in the light of the fire that warmed him. He wore his hair in a topknot, and he waited for the Evil he nearly slew to reappear. That man is not important, not in this context.

The Evil he vanquished, however, _is_.

Worlds away, and much closer to Louise, a dark and corrupted form sat at the head of an ornate twenty-foot table, eating a lavish meal. He picked at his food for a while, then mechanically finished off his roast duck in a few short minutes of effort. His expression never changed, his eyes never widened in appreciation of the sauce, or the tenderness of the meat. It was only food, after all. If he didn't feel anything when he killed his brother, surely he wouldn't be brought to his ultimate goal at the taste of roasted poultry!

On second thought... He paused, fork hovering over the very last scrap of skin. On second thought, he'd felt more empty when his brother's blood spilled all over his shoes. This definitely was a very well done duck.

Perhaps he should have the cook killed? Would he later regret denying the world such talent? What if he didn't finish, and he never confirmed with absolute certainty that the last bite was as good as the rest?

Oh, that was almost it.

King Joseph of Gallia decided there was no harm in continuing such a promising line of thought. He could have Sheffield preserve the meat, or the cook, so that he could lock it away! Then, he might be able to agonize about his decision. Surely having the item in question easily retrievable would help him reach an emotion. The added immediacy brought on by making the act easily reversible would keep it in his mind.

Yes, he could almost feel it. "Sheffield, come-" The door to his dining room exploded into so much wooden shrapnel.

An instant before he would have been shredded, a barrier snapped into existence around Joseph, and his familiar stepped into his sight from behind him. The splinters warped with a snap of crimson lightning, and tiny wooden soldiers began to marshal on the portion of the great table not behind the glowing shield. The King of Gallia finished his duck.

He heard Sheffield's breath quicken, and saw a dark outline standing in the recently-vacated doorway, but he ignored her. One of the toy soldiers was busy attacking things with his sword. The outline spoke.

"Little King. I see you enjoy the show I put on."

Joseph nodded. "Yes. It's most... interesting."

"Oh I know, it's very interesting. Can you see that there are really several different armies there, all competing with each other, subtly maneuvering too and fro in a delicate little game." The man stepped out of the doorway and sat down at the opposite head of the table, letting Joseph get his first look at him, still out of the corners of this eyes.

He was a tall man, pale-skinned and red-haired. Not orange hair, hair that was red like fire, and bound back tightly in a ponytail in a vain attempt to tame its wild curls. He wore a green coat, and a red shirt, the same red as his hair. Sheffield's hand rested on her master's shoulder for a second in a prearranged signal. The intruder wasn't armed with a wand or other artifact.

"It's not something I always appreciated. I've always understood that the struggle was just as important as the victory, but even I, great as I am, didn't understand that the best victory comes after _risk, _that I wasn't gaining anything because I didn't stand to _lose_ anything."

Joseph gave a slow blink. "Yes. One has to commit oneself to a single path to get somewhere." The soldier with the sword had found a musket, and had killed another of the wooden men with it. One of the men wearing the same uniform.

"You are Aku, the husband of the Duchess de la Valliere?" Joseph heard Sheffield say.

A black-gloved hand placed a tiny crown on the vicious soldier's head. "Yes."

That would explain his familiar's gasp. Everyone heard about what Aku could do with magic. Impossible things, feats that not even his own Sheffield could replicate. Shapeshifting, unnatural control over fire and destruction, hypnosis. He had a theory that Aku was actually another Void familiar, possibly the Queen of Tristain's, and that she'd married him to the Heavy Wind to assure his loyalty. What was he doing in here, in Gallia?

"I'm going to kill you." Aku's deep voice split through Joseph's thoughts like a bloodstained ax, massive, simple, and without room for reinterpretation. The barrier around the Void mage and his familiar suddenly redoubled, then tripled in strength as Sheffield reinforced it, then began to conjure her golems from the stone floor around her. Aku continued to speak, and his voice was nearly monotone, obviously bored with the situation.

"Your schemes bore me, your plans are self-defeating, you have no dress sense beyond the most basic, you have no true flair for the dramatic, and you're about to interrupt the most fun I've had in _ages_."

Aku's black eyes met Joseph's across the table, and he held up the crowned soldier by its head. He crushed it between two fingers and raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go." He rested his hand on the table and pushed it forwards faster than Joseph could react.

Too late Sheffield realized the flaw in her barriers. She frantically tried to correct it, but she was too late. the table slid through the gap she'd left in the shields to avoid cutting it in half and pinned her master to the wall behind him. Another negligent push and he was spit in half at the waist with a sickening crunch.

Aku's hair had burst free of his tie, and no longer resembled flames. It was on fire, and so was his neatly trimmed mustache and beard. He pointed a finger at Sheffield as her golems rushed him, runes blazing on their foreheads. He tisked. "And you're barely a character at all."

Death burst from his eyes.

XIXI

"My name," the plump dowdy woman said, "Is Chevreuse the Red Clay. I am to be your instructor on earth magic for this upcoming year. I know that not all of you are capable of earth magic, but the theories and principles laid down in this class will be useful for working with other elements as well. Also! Do remember that, just because you're only a dot wind mage now, that doesn't mean you won't later become a line or triangle mage, and one of your additional elements might be earth."

She looked across the lecture hall at the young nobles she was supposed to teach. Most of them weren't even looking at her. "So pay attention." She muttered to herself, and continued with her lesson.

XIXI

Time passed. Things happened, none of them very important in the grand scheme of things, which is an entirely different subset of the group 'things' than the former things.

Several people made discoveries that surprised them. Mrs. Longueville discovered Professor Colbert could be very charming over dinner, and that the security over the Academy Vault was too tough for her to easily crack.

Kirche von Zerbst decided that none of the boys at school with her were worth putting in serious effort into improving, and barely missed having a remarkably informative meeting with Professor Colbert, because he was having his second dinner that week with Mrs. Longueville, and the two of them really did enjoy each other's company.

Louise and Tabitha heard about the lack of suitably boys at the academy, and agreed wholeheartedly. The blue haired girl and the redhead were shocked when they found out their friend was engaged to the Viscount Wardes, and was quite in besotted with her fiance.

Headmaster Osmond learned from his contact at the palace that Gallia had finally been overtaken by the Reconquista movement.

Then it was time for the familiar exhibition, and Louise discovered that her childhood friend, Princess Henrietta, was just as good at sneaking into her bedroom as she'd been when they'd parted. "AH!"

Her voice was cut off when Henrietta reached up behind Louise and clamped her hand across her mouth, breathing words into her ear. "Be quiet, Agnes is just outside, you remember her, don't you?"

Louise did remember the pink-haired musketeer that frequently guarded her princess. She remembered her loyalty, her honor, the way she'd leapt screaming at her father with nothing but a sword and pistol, rendered nearly incoherent with rage at the sight of the man she thought had murdered her entire village.

She'd apologized for the misunderstanding later, then tried to kill him for being an amoral, heretical, blight against decency and the Brimeric Truth.

It was safe to say Louise remembered Agnes. "Yes." she whispered, and gently removed her friend's hand from her mouth, turning to face her with a genuine smile of delight. "But what are you doing here, the exhibition isn't until tomorrow?"

"I just couldn't wait to see you again, Louise, it's been years since we played together!" Henrietta whispered excitedly. "How have you been? I see you still have your hair problem."

"I do not!" Louise's hair twitched, and she absently ran her fingers through it to extinguish its flames, then blushed as she remembered what she was doing.

After much discussion the princess finally reached the true purpose of her late night visitation. "I admit, I wasn't entirely honest earlier." She shifted her eyes to the floor and clasped her hands together. "It's not that I don't enjoy your company, and it's been wonderful seeing you again, but..."

"You have something you need to happen?" Louise was calm, it wasn't like she hadn't expected Henrietta to need a favor. She had shown up at night, with only a single guard, and her childhood playmate understood the way that kind of thing worked out perfectly well.

"Yes." Henrietta blushed. "You see, there's a boy, a man, I'm in love with. But he hasn't returned my last letter, and I'm worried that something's happened to him. Sometimes politics can be, unpleasent." She shuddered at the thought of what had happened to most of the Gallian royal family- murdered, driven mad, or doubtless living like some low-class refugee in another country. "I need you to see if he got my letter. If it was intercepted we can make it look like a marriage has been arranged a while ago, but I need to know whether or not to do that."

She fixed Louise in place with her eyes. "I need to know if he got it, and just doesn't love me anymore. Besides," the princess' tone cheered up suddenly. "_Someone's_ going with you!"

The door opened, revealing a stern-faced Agnes...

And Viscount Wardes, Louise's fiance. "Hello darling."

XIXI

It was a wonderful chapel, well appointed and holy enough to drive off all but the most potent evil and otherworldly powers. Louise _itched_ somewhere in the small of her back. It was hard to act like she was under mind control with the itch there, just waiting to be scratched.

She'd made it this far without anything going wrong, and soon she'd be married to her wonderful husband, even if he had such low self-esteem that he'd only offered to have the ceremony once he was sure she wouldn't deny him.

Honestly, it was a little off-putting, but Louise had decided a long time ago that she could put up with a few minor personality flaws. She'd just have to- what was that damned priest saying now? Her hair emphatically did not twitch in irritation, and the rose in her hands did not just lose half of its petals. She discretely shuffled to the side to hide the evidence and took in the room.

Prince Wales was on the steps behind her soon-to-be husband, there was the oddly shaded shadow underneath the organ that her sister Eleanore liked to use to get around, Her husband had just stabbed the Prince of Albion in the throat, and her rose had just completely wilted.

Louise took her que from her almost-husband and pointed her off hand at the witness, incinerating the priest instantly. "Well then, what's next?" She asked eagerly. "I've never been part of a conspiracy before, but getting rid of the witnesses is usually a good first step, right?"

Her fiance stared at her in amazement. "You're supposed to be-"

"Mind controlled? Hmph." Louise sniffed dismissively. "You're going to pay for that later, but I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to make amends once you tell me what this conspiracy of ours is doing. I mean, obviously widespread domination, or perhaps destruction, but that's just the what, not the how."

"I don't know if I can tell you everything." Wardes cautioned as he took his fiance's hand and stared deep into her eyes. "I'll have to ask my superior."

That was a mood killer.

"What." Louise dropped his hand before the word was even out of her mouth. "It isn't your conspiracy?" Red flames began to run down the length of her carefully styled hair, and black began welling up from the depths of her wedding dress. "You mean- You don't-" She stuttered, eyes wide, and she took an unconscious step forward as Wardes took one back.

"You're a _flunky?_" She hissed in outrage, and her eyes narrowed.

The pommel of Wardes' knife arced through the air towards his angering fiance's temple, and a flash or red light negligently reached out from Louise's eyes and blew it off.

Louise was still recovering from the shock, and barely noticed her elder sister holding her tight as she whispered. "I almost married a _minion_."

XIXI

Louise was in her sister's room, Eleanor had taken her straight home without bothering with all that mess like 'intervening distance' and 'straight lines'. Needless to say, she was very upset with herself. But she didn't want to talk about romance with Eleanor, it would just give the red-haired girl the chance to bring up _her _love life, and that was something Louise didn't want to hear about.

Louise's hair was well and truly on fire at this point, crumpled up with her knees pulled up to her moderate (but still there, dammit!) bosom and tears falling from her eyes. It was a good thing Eleanor's room was fireproof. Louise had inherited mixed power and elements from her parents, but her eldest sister hadn't. Louise could, at least, cast Brimiric magic, even if she had to be careful not to overdo things and wreck buildings.

Eleanor could as well, theoretically, but she had an exaggerated version of her mother's problem. Karin the Heavy Wind was the strongest wind mage in the history of Halkegania, able to match the next strongest living one with only twenty percent as much time and effort, and could even cast her signature spell without an incantation at all. Louise's sister had an affinity for fire so strong her hair sometimes _wasn't_ made of flames.

Using magic inside buildings was absolutely forbidden to her. Her first attempt at casting a simple fireball at age nine had resulted in the creation of the property's newest pond, sans water.

Louise didn't understand why Eleanor complained about her lack of suitors, she should have had plenty of them! They'd cluster around her like moths to a flame, so dangerous, but promising incredible power to add to the lineage of whoever she married.

Eleanor had challenged the first person to whisper a rumor about possible risk to certain tender areas to a duel, then burned her face off, neatly driving off the rest of her possible suitors.

But the youngest La Valliere didn't know about any of that. To her, big sister Eleanor was the teasing, bold, somewhat intimidating sister that had never let her down when she needed her, and right now Louise needed to be held. "He just- He just swept me along, and I was so sure he was up to something."

"You weren't upset with him killing Henrietta's love?" Eleanor asked, her hand stroking unharmed through her sister's hair in a soothing gesture.

Louise sniffed. "He wasn't good enough for her, just a little yapping dog. He was handsome enough, but that's all he had."

"And Wardes?"

"He betrayed me!" Louise howled angrily. "And he wasn't even very clever about it! I thought he just wanted to be sure of things, but apparently he was going to try and brainwash me and get to the 'promised land', out in the middle of nowhere." Louise had just learned a few minutes ago that some people babbled to themselves when their only remaining hand was blasted off. She also learned that her late fiance had a hold-out wand in his boot.

Eleanor patted Louise on the back and agreed with her. "I thought he had class. You know..." She gave her sister a sideways look. "If you want to, I can teach you how to shapeshift a whip, and we can get Cattleya to resurrect him."

"Zombies can't feel pain, not even Cattleya's." Louise protested, but her tears were drying up.

"But she can make them _think_ they can feel it!" Eleanor chirped, and helped her sister to her feet. "What did he want to get all the way to the Holy Land for anyway? I wasn't paying much attention."

"Something about there being too many Windstones beneath Halkegania, and they're going to lift everything into the sky like Albion, then let them drop."

Eleanore scoffed. "As if father wasn't taking care of that already."

Somewhere else, far away, but not so far as to actually require leaving the La Vallieres' mansion, Aku was pouring milk into a bowl of Windstones and wishing condensed magic came in more than one flavor.


	2. Chapter 2

The walls of the Tristain Academy of Magic rose high behind Louise as she moved towards her room, and she braced herself for what was to come. It was an unimaginable terror, almost as great as the one that used to keep her up at night, back before she learned how to shift her shape to heal herself, the immaculate dress and elegantly held wand that was incapable of non-violent use.

She was almost as afraid now as she'd been the time her mother had tried to take the assassin alive, and only sent half of him splattering across the courtyard.

Before Eleanore had brought her near the academy her father had told her about what King Joseph of Gallia- currently resting in pieces, he'd said, had done. Louise couldn't just let the matter drop, it wouldn't be right. She was just worried that things wouldn't be the same, that was all.

Entrance hall, secret passage, dormitories, private rooms, another secret passage, more private rooms, and there she was.

Tabitha's room.

It looked like any other high-class (or high-paying) noble's room door. It was a solid, heavy, wood with plain white paint, almost blending in with the similarly painted walls. Faint squeaks came from inside, and Louise almost decided that her friend had company over, and she should come back later. Then she remembered who she was thinking about, and decided it was far more likely Kirsche was in there, and had just bounced down on the bed.

Stupid bouncing Germanian, making a proper lady think about things like _that_, why Louise had half a mind to tie her down and properly discipline-

She wiped her hair back, and made sure she was composed with a hand mirror, then knocked firmly on the door. Tabitha opened it, then stepped back to allow Louise entrance. Sure enough, there were two cloaks hung by the door, and Louise added hers to them as the door closed behind her. Kirsche was on the bed, for once wearing a mostly modest sleeping gown, even if it was one of Tabitha's, from the size and look. "Tabitha, I think we need to talk. Father's told me some things..." Louise trailed off.

"Your father?" The redheaded girl questioned, and leaned forward eagerly. "The Duke de La Valliere, correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then he's Aku de La Valliere?" Kirsche continued.

"Yes of course, but he told me-"

"Aku the Burning Man?"

"Yes!" Louise's hair burst into flames, and she glowered at her friend. "_That_ Aku." She calmed herself with a visible effort, and most of the fires went out. The rest was considerately doused by Slyphid, Tabitha's dragon familiar, when she licked the top of Louise's head, causing her hair to stick up via entirely different means.

Tabithat hid her face behind a book, and Kirsche giggled, then beckoned the cheerful dragon over to her, and began to pet it with long slow motions. Louise snapped at Tabitha. "You're book's upside down."

Tabitha's eyes flicked up to meet Louise's, locking in a contest of wills. But then Louise snorted, and Tabitha's shoulders shook in apparent laughter at the absurdity of the situation. "You ought to ask von Zerbst about controlling immature admirers." Tabitha gasped out, and Kirsche's ringing voice joined in the good natured teasing.

A short time later the three of them were sitting at the small table Tabitha sometimes studied at, warm drinks in their hands. "I had a talk with father recently, as I said earlier." Louise started to run her fingers through her hair, then caught herself. She didn't need to hide with her friends. "He told me King Joseph of Gallia was killed in his own home a few months ago. Word hasn't gotten out because the ministers tried to keep it quiet, then Reconquista managed to find out and, well, not much word has gotten out recently."

Kirsche's eyes flicked to her blue-haired friend, then back to Louise.

Tabitha went still. "When?"

"Months ago, I think." Louise hesitated for a moment, then decided to risk it. "My sister, Cattleya, got your mother out. They're in a house, a cottage really, hidden in the woods near the northern coast. She's safe."

"How-"

"Did I know?" Louise smiled a little. "I'm not sure, exactly. It was after I met you, after we became friends. You like me for me, so I tried to ignore it. You're Tabitha, even if you're a princess too, and I won't tell people if you don't want to deal with the mess. You always seemed a bit like a princess, though, so I can't guarantee no one else put it together."

Kirsche jumped in bluntly, as usual. "Your staff looks like the staff on the Gallian coat of arms, it's not like it was hard for me to figure out after a while."

XIXI

The room was dark, and the princess was wearing black in mourning. "We made it public, when I found out he was dead." She whispered. "There wasn't any great loss of face to be had, so mother permitted it."

Henrietta felt, rather than heard, the shadows move behind her. "I trusted you to do one thing. One thing, and you couldn't do it."

The shadow didn't speak, but the princess heard its breathing quicken as she spoke. "I don't know what I thought you'd do, but I never expected you to just disappear, and you show up the next day at your home, like nothing had gone wrong."

She turned, and met her shadow's reddened eyes with her own bloodshot pair. Matching tears ran down their faces. "Why? Tell me how it happened."

The shadow spoke, and her hair stirred slightly. "It was in the chapel, Wardes and I were going to be married."

"But you weren't supposed to-"

"He drugged me. I wasn't expecting it from him, I loved him and he loved me." Louise sniffled. "I didn't even consider that the thoughts in my head weren't mine until he turned around and killed the prince in the middle of the ceremony. Then the priest died, and he came for me as soon as he realized I'd fought his control off."

The pink-haired girl's head bobbed and she lunged at her princess, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I had to kill him. It was terrible."

XIXI

"It was absolutely disgusting! No class at the end, no witty last words, not even stoic silence!" Louise was in a well-lighted room, describing what had happened during her 'errand'. "One second he was suave and romantic and in command, the next he was missing a hand! Then he just crumpled up and told me everything; it was terrible!"

Kirsche nodded in a show of solidarity for her friend. "How inconsiderate of him. He'd been just perfect up until then, hadn't he?"

"He was wonderful, all half-truths and sly insinuation that he was more than he seemed, and he didn't look even half bad on the surface. Then I overreact a tiny bit and he tried to come at me with a knife, a knife!"

Tabitha finished her drink and cast a quick spell, refilling the kettle. Kirsche murmured a phrase and lit the fireplace, then Louise reached across to the other side of the room and brought the tea leaves to the table by the fireplace.

Tabitha poured fresh cups. "Mind control?"

"Oh, how did he do it, just a little suggestion, or did he just take over?" The redheaded girl blew on her cup, then downed the barely-set liquid as soon as she could.

"It didn't exactly work, but I think he tried to lock me up in my head." Louise hazarded.

"Thorough." Tabitha nodded her approval.

"So he was going to make you watch helplessly while he killed the princess' sweetheart, then detail his plans?" Kirsche nodded as well, then promted. "Not bad. Of course, you had to take the offensive."

"So I killed the priest, then asked him what we were doing next." Louise said. "That's when it started going wrong. I asked him to tell me his plans, and he said he had to check with his superiors!"

Her audience winced.

"Exactly! He was a minion, an errand boy for somebody else, and he might have taken exception to me saying that out loud and came at me with a knife, so I blew his hand off."

"Some people can be so touchy about things like that. Pass the muffins, Tabitha?"

Tabitha pointedly slid the empty platter to Kirsche. "Gone."

XIXI

"I've had it La Valliere!" The door to Louise's room was smashed open by a familiar Salamander, and Kirsche von Zerbst stepped through the debris, wand held high and wearing roughly half of her uniform shirt, what looked to be one of Tabitha's skirts, and a long black cloak.

"I didn't mind you borrowing it for a little while, but this has gone too far!" The redhead muttered a word, and fire began gathering at the tip of her wand. "So I'm giving you one last chance to give it up, before I-"

Louise set down her book and snapped dismissively. "Oh, put that thing away, Kirsche. We both know what's going to happen next. You'll blast a fireball, I'll get over it, and probably say something like, 'You'll never see it again, boy-chaser' And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each until... the next time we have class together. And then we'll do the same thing again."

Kirsche ground her teeth in impotent rage and released her spell, incinerating much of the room and blasting a hole in the wall into the courtyard below.

A pool of shadows on the floor lit on fire, and Louise pulled herself back out of it and leapt backwards out the window and out of sight. Then she stepped back inside. "See what I mean? Why don't we settle this once and for all, no arcane powers, no bewitched manticore knights," (and hadn't _that_ been an unpleasant surprise) "just you and me."

"That would be acceptable." Of course she's going to cheat.

"Then we have an agreement." Now what _didn't_ I mention again? "That leaves the location to be determined."

Kirsche replied. "It is traditional for the accuser to decide the location."

"Very well then! We shall duel beyond the Valley of Fear, on the Ninety-Nine Forbidden Steps." Louise crossed her arms, and lightning flashed behind her, casting her face into shadows as her skirt and cloak melted into a sinister black dress that would _not_ have looked better on Kirsche.

"Is that east, or west, of the Catacombs of Agonizing Boredom?" The Germanian hazarded.

Louise sighed, and closed her eyes. _"East. _You do know where the Catacombs are, don't you?"

"Of course I do!"

"You sure?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm absolutely sure. I remember now."

There was a moment of silence, then Louise pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. "I can give you a ride if you-"

"I can find my own way there!"

XIXI

The two of them stood in the courtyard facing each other. Kirsche hadn't changed her clothes at all, reasoning that she wasn't wearing anything that would trip her up, and Louise had just got her uniformed shape looking like it should be again and wasn't willing to mix up what she was supposed to look like.

Tabitha stood between her two friends, raised her hand, and lowered it as she ducked out of the line of fire.

But neither of the two feuding mages attacked the other immediately. This was time for dramatic dialogue, not action.

"It's a pity, Louise, that you aren't more like your sister the Scorched Earth. We may both be triangle mages, but I'm fire-fire-fire. Your single earth won't have enough strength to block my spells, and your two stacks of fire can't match my three."

"But I knew I'd never be a match for your fire magic, so I bribed Tabitha to water down the ground in the courtyard beforehand to increase my defensive power."

"Ha! I knew you would see your own weakness, so I took measures as well! Since I knew you'd bring in outside help, I've hidden one of my admirers somewhere around here, and he'll ambush you as soon as you're distracted."

"But _I_ knew you couldn't resist stacking the odds in your favor, Kirsche, so I had a golem search the area before I arrived, and your minion has been dealt with!"

"Of course you did, so I made more than one golem!" Louise crowed, and her shoulders spiked. "Admit it, von Zerbst, you can't say you saw that I knew that you knew that I knew!" Louise twitched her wand, sending a burst of flame at Kirche, who deflected it was her own, larger, flames.

"Give up! You can't match me!" Bursts of fire and pillars of defending stone arced across the courtyard in a flurry of back and forth spellcasting.

It was all futile of course. In the end, the two nemesis lay next to each other, willpower depleted. "Give. It. Back." Kirche gasped.

"I. Can't." Louise replied in kind. "Tabitha. Borrowed it. Months ago."

Kirsche turned her head to look at her blue-haired friend, who sheepishly set the battered book in question on a leftover stone pillar, and muttered, "Articles".


End file.
